


Flirting Schmirting.

by LadyDrace



Series: Junk Ficlets from Tumblr [47]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Flirting, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 21:49:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2324354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDrace/pseuds/LadyDrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabrielsfeatherybutt prompted: "Are you still taking prompts? If you are could you do "The One Where Ross Can't Flirt" with Sabriel? Thank you very much!" for the Friends Episode Title prompt. <br/>Also asked for by lysanatt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flirting Schmirting.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed.

Thing is… Gabriel is awesome at flirting.  _Awesome._  Just as long as it’s not serious. He can schmooze anyone anywhere at any time, but if he likes someone for more than just their thinnest outer layer… then he fucks up. Badly.

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake, just go over there and do your thing!” Balthazar groans and tosses back his drink. “Yesterday it took you a grand total of ten minutes to get that curvy hipster to go home with you, I don’t get why you’re being such a chicken about this?”

“But this  _matters_ , B! I  _like_  Sam!”

“So?”

“So! So, I don’t want him to think I’m a sleeze!”

“…but you  _are_  a sleeze.”

“Shut up, no I’m not. I’m just open about my needs and desires, thank you very much.”

“Then go over there and inform the moose of your need and desire to climb him like a tree.”

“I told you-”

“-and have his physically impossible babies.”

Gabriel pouts and stares morosely into his drink as Sam laughs with his friends on the other side of the room. Balthazar rolls his eyes and claps Gabriel on the shoulder. “Oh, cheer up. Why don’t you just pretend he’s your latest fling, butter him up and take him home. Once he’s had a taste, I bet he’ll keep coming back for more!”

“It won’t work. It doesn’t matter if I tell people I’m a freakin’ astronaut or a horror writer if I’m never gonna see them again! Sam already knows me! He knows I’m just a glorified bean-counter with an arsenal of bad jokes!”

“Well that’s good news, then!” Balthazar beams. “No need to bring out to sleezy moves! Just be yourself!”

Gabriel sends him a filthy look. “If I thought that would actually work, I would be over there right now giving it my best. But last time I checked,  _myself_  wasn’t all that interesting.”

Balthazar slaps his hand to his chest in mock outrage. “Are you actually telling me that I would ever be friends with someone uninteresting?! Why don’t you just stab me in the heart!”

“Drama queen,” Gabriel huffs.

“Chicken.”

“Am not. I just… don’t know what to say to him.”

“ _You_ …?” Balthazar gasps, “not knowing what to say? Call the press!”

“You know, this is not helping,” Gabriel grouses.

“Fine. If you won’t go ever there, then I will. Something that tall and muscular should never go to waste.”

Gabriel yanks Balthazar back by his stupid smoking jacket and punches him in the side as soon as he’s within reach. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

“Then you’d better get your butt over there, because in exactly five minutes I’ll be making my move, whether you’ve grown a pair or not!” Balthazar hisses at him, rubbing his ribs.

“I hate you,” Gabriel grumbles, and finishes his drink in one too-big gulp that makes him cough. But one look from Balthazar, as well as a significant glance at his watch, makes Gabriel slip off the stool, check that he hasn’t dribbled anything on his shirt, and make his way towards Sam and his friends.

But just as he’s coming up with something to say, Sam stands up and comes towards him with his long legs closing the distance long before Gabriel has decided on a decent opening. He’s fucked.

“Oh, hi, Gabriel,” Sam says kindly as he spots him. “I didn’t know you came here too.”

“I, uh,” Gabriel says stupidly. “No, I… I mean, yeah, I come here sometimes.” Smooth.

Sam chuckles, but in a way that doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at Gabriel. “Awesome. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink,” he says, and heads towards the bar. Gabriel only barely manages not to blurt out “ _why!?_ ”. But apparently he does have some sense, and he calls it a win that he avoids looking this particular horse in the mouth.

“What are you drinking?” Sam asks as he flags down the bartender. Gabriel opens his mouth and closes it again, because Cosmopolitan sounds really… uncool somehow. Which is a stupid thought, because he was drinking them proudly and openly not five minutes earlier.

“Beer okay?” Sam continues, and Gabriel nods dumbly. He really dislikes beer, but he just feels so out of place and nervous that he can’t seem to make himself say what he wants. He’s busy cursing himself when Sam hands him a drink. A Cosmo.

“Whu-” he says, almost dropping the drink as he looks up at Sam who just shrugs. “I asked the bartender what you usually have. You weren’t exactly jumping for joy when I said beer,” Sam explains, sipping his own pint.

Gabriel blinks a few times and then groans with frustration at his annoying awkwardness. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just… not great at this.”

“What, talking?” Sam asks, and Gabriel is getting ready to desperately backpeddle when Sam winks at him.

“Oh, you asshole,” Gabriel says and pokes Sam in the ribs. “You just let me stand here and tie myself in knots! Thanks a lot! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go find a rock to crawl under. It’s been fun,” he drawls and turns to leave, face burning.

“Hey, hey, wait. I wasn’t trying to make fun of you, I swear.” Sam’s hand is warm on Gabriel’s arm, and he sighs and lets himself be stopped. He turns to look at Sam again cautiously, ready to bolt if this gets any more embarrassing. “It’s… kinda sweet, actually.”

“… sweet?!” Gabriel asks with a cringe. “How the hell do you call this train wreck  _sweet_?!”

Sam rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning widely. “Gabriel… I’ve been waiting for you to use your shitty pick-up lines on me for ages now. The fact that you’re all tongue-tied and weird about it is… well, it’s adorable, frankly.”

Gabriel wants the floor to swallow him up. “Oh, God,” he groans, hiding his eyes behind his hand.

Chuckling again, Sam gently pries the hand away and coaxes Gabriel to look at him. “Hey, look, I’m gonna make this easy for you. I’m free tomorrow, so you’re taking me out on a date. Pick me up at five, wear something  _you_  like, and we’ll go for pizza. Deal?”

Nodding dumbly, Gabriel mostly just stares as Sam winks at him again, and saunters back to his friends. When Gabriel gets back to Balthazar he’s still in kind of a daze, and he’s still not entirely sure he isn’t dreaming when he shows up at Sam’s door the next day in his most lurid jacket and glow-in-the-dark Chucks, and gets a kiss on the cheek and a smile before they go.

End.


End file.
